Does your child have self-evidence to control their impulses and achieve their goals?
The majority of kids loses self control and lack of self-discipline. They do not have the enough skills by which they can overcome their impulses and anxiety. This is a general phenomenon children suffer from. Many parents seek to teach their children the necessary techniques to let them control themselves in certain situations. Generally speaking, kids do not follow directions set by their parents because they do not know how to abide by the rules. They are innocent and kind. They lack the skills of self-discipline which might lead to a certain extent to some troubles for them; however, Do you think children self-control a good trait to encourage?
Self-control is defined as willpower, self-discipline or conscientiousness. It is the ability to manage yourself to reach your goals. But for most kids, they lack this ability. Children do not manage their emotions, anxiety, and impulses. They cannot resist the temptation easily because it is out of their control. They have more trouble regulating themselves and they suffer for it. According to Raaijmakers, ‘’kids with poor self-control and planning abilities are more likely to have aggressive behavior problems (Raaijmakers et al 2008; Ellis et al 2009); and they are also more likely to experience anxiety and depression’’ (Martel et al 2007; Eisenberg et al 2010). Some specialists say that certain genes have a link with impulsive behavior. They think that self-discipline runs in the family. Other theorists reject the idea and assert that the existence of a genetic basis for a trait does not mean that it cannot be modified.
Many studies show that impulsive children having less self-control are more likely to smoke and commit crimes, in contrast, those having stronger self-regulation techniques and get better academic skills over time. Thus, your kid needs to pay attention and follow your directions to learn how to control their impulses. There are many ways for children to learn self-discipline. It is really an important trait to encourage. Here is a guideline of how to teach your child self-control:
- Building self-control requires trust with your kids: parents who let their children get their needs may build a trust with them. When they are served, their brain starts to strengthen the neural pathways to relieve anxiety and adjust emotions. When a child starts crying because of hunger and the parent quickly provides him/her with food, the child builds a sort of trust with their parent; the kid learns that s/he will eventually get food and need just to be patient to get their needs met. Through this way, your child comes to develop the feeling of safety and security plus patience.
- A kid’s self-control is built first from your behavior: your child learns emotional regulation from your modeling. This means that when you, as a parent, cannot manage your emotions in front of your child and get angry quickly, your child receives the message that life is full of challenges; so, your child builds a model that is an extension of your own character. Try to be a good model for your child; do not lose your temper and control of your emotions in the existence of your kid.
- A child learns self-control from their parents: when your child gets frightened or upset, your role is to provide him/her with affection, talking friendly so that they can feel calm. When you are dealing with them in such a way, you are teaching them self-control. If you let them rattle you and eventually you fail to calm them down, they will come to believe that they are not good kids and that anxiety is not permitted. This can lead them to rush in when taking decisions.
- Try to prepare a suitable environment where self-control can be taught: your child needs your instructions. Try to prepare them the best atmosphere where they can learn how to control themselves. Create an environment where self-control is consistently rewarded by suggesting gifts for your child if they respect some rules. Parents’ promises can help their kids develop the skills of self-discipline.
- Acquiring the skill of waiting is a good technique to learn self-control: whenever you practice self-control, you come to develop the habit of how to achieve your goals. Teaching your kid patience is a good manner to let them control their emotions and impulses. Kids who learn techniques of waiting develop quickly the skill of self-discipline. You should not make your child wait for longer than they are psychologically prepared so as not to let them lose their self-control and start screaming. You should help your kid confront their anxiety of waiting and learn how to control their emotions and impulses.
- Teach self-control by making reminders: it is common that any person might not respect the rules set by a certain institution. The case happens almost for children who find difficulties in following parents’ instructions and directions. They are easily distracted and interrupted because they find no reminder. Thus, you need to keep your child in a continuous process learning rules by using reminders in order to let them develop their self-control. You should always remind your kid of your expectations to teach them how to control their impulses and emotions.
Developing self-control needs a great effort. Parents should look for the best ways to help their kids develop this skill of self-discipline. It is about how to manage your emotions and impulses. Many actors and agents play significant roles in this issue; parents and teachers have a deep impact on children’s self-discipline. Each one participates from its own angle and seeks to develop this skill to children.